Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Britain's Prince William to Marry the Girl Next Door

Prince William gets nine of ten points in our book for his engagement to Kate Middleton, which was announced Tuesday.

(1) Kate along with several other students was one of William's housemates in college, so she very literally was the girl next door.

(2) William is beginning to lose his blond hair, so he showed good judgment by waiting until that was apparent so as to give Kate ample opportunity to dump him before he proposed.

(3) Kate has long brown hair, supporting our long held view that blonds may have more fun but brunettes are more beautiful.

(4) Both William and Kate turned age 29 in 2011 and are rumored to be fulfilling a pact to get married before they turn age 30. Yes, a marriage pact.

(5) Kate proved at the press engagement announcement that she knows how to wear a blue dress.

(6) The blue saphire engagement ring William gave Kate may break the diamond engagement ring racket, and reusing the ring your father gave your mother could break the new jewelry racket altogether.

(7) William's full name and title is Prince William Arthur Philip Louis of Wales and he is actually living in Wales with Kate where he serves as a search and rescue helicopter pilot.

(8) Kate is no member of royalty or even nobility. Her parents are entrepreneurs who started a mail order firm selling stuff for children's parties (not a .com but a .uk). They are, very literally, in trade. There was a time when that wouldn't do for a royal.

(9) Kate's full first name is Catherine, the name of one of my sisters. Of course, there may not be room in this world for two Queen Catherines and my sister had the title first.

There is one point we can't award yet:

(10) The thing that would make their marriage perfect is if Prince William abdicates in favor of a republic. That, however, probably has to wait until his grandmother Queen Elizabeth II and father Prince Charles have passed away.

And why do we care whether Great Britain is a kingdom or a republic? Well, our neigbor Canada is a monarchy too, and shares the same sovereign. As a neighbor, we have the right to butt into the succession. At least that is how it always worked in Europe. No monarchies is in the Americas, that's our policy. And yes, we do have our eye on the Netherlands too.

In the meantime, we will observe that William and Kate may not become King and Queen of the United Kingdom for 20 to 30 or even 40 years. Plenty of time for a royal wedding and a tea party or two.

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