Saturday, November 6, 2010

2012 Republican Presidential Candidates Go on Sale

Who is the Republican Party going to run against Barack Obama in 2012?

We'll find out soon enough, but in the meantime the Spalding GOP Store is selling campaign buttons, t-shirts, and other electioneering material for the following potential candidates:

Sarah PalinAlaska GovernorShe's a political rock star but many people have written her off as a loser, quitter, and nincompoop
Mitt RomneyMassachusetts GovernorMasterminded the Massachusetts health care reform that was used as the blueprint for Obamacare
Newt GingrichU.S. House Speaker, Georgia CongressmanThinks his Contract with America invented the Tea Party
Mike HuckabeeArkansas GovernorStill has support in Iowa, but is host of most boring show on Fox
Rudy GiulianiMayor of New York CityCan Republican voters get past that he is prochoice?
Ron PaulTexas CongressmanWill sit out in favor of a future run by son newly elect U.S. Senator Rand "Aqua Buddha" Paul
Bobby JindalLouisiana GovernorBlew his 15 minutes of fame giving the Republican response to Barack Obama's first State of the Union speech
Haley BarbourMississippi Governor, RNC ChairmanHe can whistle Dixie
Jeb BushFlorida GovernorIs America ready for a fourth Bush term?
Rick SantorumU.S. Senator, Pennsylvania CongressmanThe left would commit him to a sanitarioum
Mitch DanielsIndiana Governor, OMB DirectorI knew Dan Qualye, Mitch Daniels is no Dan Qualye
Tim PawlentyMinnesota GovernorNo one knows him outside Minnesota
John ThuneU.S. Senator, South Dakatoa CongressmanNo one knows him outside South Dakata

There are a few other names being talked about, but they aren't on sale yet at Spalding:

Jon GreensponMontana BusinessmanAs the first announced candidate he aready has his own website and online store
Fred KargerCalifornia political consultant and gay rights activistHe has a website but nothing to sell, and gay rights will be a very tough sell to Republican voters
Chris ChristieNew Jersey GovernorWould have to turn his back on his governorship in the middle of his first term
Rick PerryTexas GovernorSays he doesn't want run, might prefer to be President of Texas
Jim DeMint U.S. Senator for South CarolinaSelf-proclaimed Tea Party kingmaker may want to be king
Mike PenceIndiana CongressmanJust gave up his House leadership position but may intend to run for Governor not for President
Paul RyanWisconsin CongressmanKeeps updating his Roadmap for America's Future
John BoltonU.N. AmbassadorHe'd have to shave his mustache if he wants to be taken seriously as Mr. Right for America
Donald TrumpBusinessmanCouldn't get elected Mayor of Atlantic City but may secretly dream of telling Barack Obama, "You're fired!"
Herman CainRadio Talk Show HostConservatives love him on the radio, but how many votes will he get in Virgil Caine country?
Michele BachmannMinnesota CongressmanTea Party Caucus organizer was passed over for House GOP Leadership

Update 1/7/2011: added Herman Cain.
Update 1/21/2011: added Michele Bachmann.

No comments: