Saturday, February 26, 2011

Jon Stewart Sips Lemonade After Gay Sexing Don Rumsfeld

OK, I wasn't in the studio when Jon Stewart interviewed Don Rumsfeld this week, so maybe the headline falls in the unknown unknowns category, but:

Jon: "Did you guys know intelligence was never perfect?"

Don: "Oh my goodness yes."

Jon: "I feel like we're just sitting on a porch now sipping lemonade."

Don: "I said what I shouldn't have said, 'oh my goodness.' ... He makes fun of that, but there are a lot of people in the heartland of America who talk like I do. They may not on the coasts, but in the heartland they do."

Jon: "Yes, on the coast, we just curse and have gay sex. That's all we do, just run around cursing and gay sexing each other."
Many on the left have always admired Rumsfeld even as they pretend to dislike him, because he is cut from the same Marxist cloth that they are, though Rumsfeld wears his Marxism in the neocon style.

How else can you explain Jon Stewart conducting an interview with George W. Bush's Secretary of Defense without pinning him down on the Iraq WMD question? Failing that, Stewart might have asked Rumsfeld what he thinks about gays serving in the military or the revolutionary protests going on across the Middle East. No, the interview was all don't ask, don't tell:

The hallmark of Marxism is the big lie, and in Rumsfeld's case the big lie is the WMD story told to the American public in the run up to the Iraq War. Rumsfeld's defense of reputation rests on the "Parade of Horribles" memorandum that he submitted on October 15, 2002, the day before President Bush signed the Iraq War authorization resolution and three days after the resolution had passed Congress.

This memorandum offered up an "illustrative list of the types of problems that could result from a conflict with Iraq" containing 29 items. More than a few of those items might have been of interest to the American public when Congress voted three days earlier and when the public itself voted in the Congressional election three weeks later:

1. If US seeks UN approval, it could fail; and without a UN mandate, potential coalition partners may be unwilling to participate.

13. US could fail to find WMD on the ground in Iraq and be unpersuasive to
the world.

19. Rather than having the post-Saddam effort require 2 to 4 years, it could take 8 to 10 years, thereby absorbing US leadership, military and financial resources.

20. US alienation from countries in the EU and the UN could grow to levels
sufficient to make our historic post World War Il relationships
irretrievable, with the charge of US unilateralism becoming so embedded
in the world's mind that it leads to a diminution of U.S. influence in the
Now before you congratulate Secretary Rumsfeld on his prescience in this memorandum, consider the observation of Secretary of State Dean Acheson:

"A memorandum is not written to inform the reader but to protect the writer".
Rumsfeld's job as Secretary of Defense, however, was to protect the United States of America. I'd say Rumsfeld's Parade of Horribles memo doesn't cover his ass so much as expose the extent of his hubris.

You can read this and other official documents over at, a website Rumsfeld created to promote his new book, Known and Unknown. He calls his website "The Rumsfeld Papers" an obvious joke on the Pentagon Papers which were published during the Vietnam War. Many of the documents are marked Top Secret, Secret, Confidential, and For Official Use Only so this website is his own personal WikiLeaks. All perfectly legal, we're assured.

Hat tip to Smitty over at the Other McCain:

"We The People really need to re-consider the post-WWII Team America World Police regime. Sure, the Cold War was preferable to a WWIII, and terrorism ain't beanbag. A lack of reflection on what the US is trying to accomplish internationally, however, is going to lead both to more Iraqi WTF the WMD moments, as well as jumbo DOD budgets moving forward."
Another hat tip to Wallace Shawn as Vizzini in The Princess Bride (note to Wally: Rumsfeld is a Princeton man, not a Harvard man):

"I've hired you to help me start a war. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition."


SDN said...

One, defense is at least defined in the Constitution. Cut all the junk that isn't and we can talk.

Two, the world requires a hegemon. It was Great Britain, then us. Someone has to hang the pirates, spank the slavers, etc. If we don't, someone else will. Who would you nominate? And if no one fills it, sooner or later someone will use the sanctuary your policy provides to nail us. Clinton's refusal to act in the 90s led pretty directly to 9/11.

SDN said...

Your buggy verification system atethe first part of my comment:

Smitty wouldn't answer these; maybe you will.

Left Bank of the Charles said...

Hegemon, is that a pokemon character? I read through the U.S. Constitution again and don't see that word.

The 90s? I seem to remember Dick Cheney being Secretary of Defense at the beginning of the 90s.

Frank said...

"rumsfeld" + "sex" = me throwing up.

"rumsfeld" + "gay sex" = me throwing up several feet of intestine.