Superbowl Ads on YouTube

Budweiser: Nothing comes between friends, especially fences.


Audi: You picked the wrong day to pick on the ecosystem, plastic boy.


E*Trade: And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn't over?


Dorito's: It's a miracle.


Snickers: You're playing like Betty White out there.


Dockers: I wear no pants.


Dorito's: Keep you hands off my mama, keep your hands off my Doritos.


Late Show with David Letterman: worst Super Bowl party ever.


Denny's: Yup, It's going to take a lot of eggs.


Dodge Charger: I will drive the car I want to drive.


Focus on Family: You're not nearly as tough as I am.


Teleflora: don't send flowers in a box.


Budweiser: The bridge is out.


HomeAway: Reservation for the Griswolds?


Dante's Inferno: Go to hell.


Prince or Persia


Bridgestone: Now that was a bachelor party.


GoDaddy.com: Hey, do you think I could be a GoDaddy girl too?


Bud Light: Well guys, that asteroid is going to destroy the earth.


Emerald Nuts and Pop Secret: Awesome + Awesome = Awesomer


Google: Paris


Michelob Ultra life.

Dr Pepper Cherry: A little Kiss of cherry flavor.


Bud Light: I'm going to make the party right.


truTv: Six more weeks of football.

Small Business Gallups to Front While Socialism Finishes Last

A recent poll by Gallup asks Americans a very simple question.

"Just off the top of your head, would you say you have a positive or negative image of each of the following?"

Term	Positive	Negative
Small business	95%	4%
Free enterprise	86%	10%
Entrepreneurs	84%	10%
Capitalism	61%	33%
Big business	49%	49%
Federal government	46%	51%
Socialism	36%	58%

No surprise here for anyone familiar with the American public. Certainly there are ideological differences within the American public on these terms. And that sometimes confuses the ideologues, who tend to sort themselves with like-minded people. So 53% of Democrats have a positive image of socialism, compared to 17% of Republicans.

The Republican Party does well to run against big government but hurts itself to be allied too closely with big business. They'll be in big trouble if the Democrats ever think to start tagging Republicans "big corporate socialists".

The Democratic Party would do well to leave any socialistic big government dreams behind, as that is never going resonate well with the American people as a whole. For example, pandering to the single payer advocates on health care reform was fatal. The American public saw right through the left's public option as single payer socialized medicine in waiting.

For the Democrats to succeed, they need to embrace issues like health care and job creation from the top of the list not the bottom. That is, from the perspective of small business and free enterprise. And leave the governing as much as possible to state and local government rather than the federal government.

It's not socialism if it comes from the bottom up instead of the top down. Leveling the playing field, fair competition, protecting consumer choice and quality, fostering philanthropy, creating opportunities for small business to provide needed social services. That kind of change Americans would support.

How to explain the 25% drop from free enterprise to capitalism? Capitalism is for the big guy and free enterprise is for the little guy. America identifies with whoever fights for the little guy, whether against the capitalist or against the socialist.

I'll Be By Tomorrow Morning at 11:00 to Pick up My Stuff

Scott Brown was scheduled to take his U.S. Senate seat for Massachusetts next Thursday on February 11. That was until this past Wednesday afternoon, when he had his lawyer write and hand deliver a letter to Governor Deval Patrick and Secretary of State William Galvin:

"We request that the results of the special election of January 19, 2010 be certified without delay and that a duplicate original copy be provided to me in hand no later than 11:00 a.m. on Thursday, February 4, 2010."

Scott Brown got his certification papers, flew to Washington, DC, and was sworn in by Vice President Joe Biden on Thursday afternoon.

Whatever else you may think of Scott Brown, you've to admire his style. In fact, his simple approach can be used to solve lots of problems.

Dear Ex,

I know we said we'd never see each other again, but you still have my green jacket and Free Bird t-shirt. I'll be by tomorrow morning at 11:00 to pick up my stuff.

Dear AIG,

You received a $170 billion bailout from me and other U.S. taxpayers. My per capita share is $550. I'll be by tomorrow morning at 11:00 to pick up my check. Actually, make out that check to the U.S Treasury for the full $170 billion amount.

Dear Nancy Pelosi,

I have not yet received anything from the $787 billion stimulus plan you passed a year ago in February 2009. My per capita share works out to $2,550. I'll be by tomorrow morning at 11:00 to pick up my check.

Dear Europe,

You seem to think that giving our President a Nobel Peace Prize would get him to strong arm Brazil, South Africa, India, China, and our country into your stupid Copenhagen scheme to regulate our economies under the guise of your faked data on global warming. (We're not saying carbon emissions are not a real problem, we're saying you don't have a real solution.) We'll be by tomorrow morning at 11:00 to return the Peace Prize.

Dear Pakistan,

We have good information that Osama Bin Laden is hiding in your country. We'll be by tomorrow morning at 11:00 to pick him up.

Dear Iran and North Korea,

We'll be by tomorrow morning at 11:00 to pick up your nuclear weapons material and your jailed dissidents. You might want to try picking up some democracy.

Dear Senator Brown (cc: President Obama),

Senator Brown, we hope you like your new job and like working with President Obama. You've both are coming up for reelection in 2012. Your Senate seat is the people's seat, and so is the seat in the oval office. We hope you both do a great job for us between now and Tuesday, November 6, 2012. If not, we'll be by election morning at 11:00 to pick up our seats.

How Do You Do Unemployed?

Here's some Facebook commentary started by someone I know out in flyover country who has just been laid from work.

Status: Hey this SUCKS! I can't believe that I no longer work for XXX company . . . I had been with the company 15-years and 10-months. I had to file my first EVER unemployment claim yesterday. Now I am part of that stupid statistic that I never thought I would be a part of!!!

Comment: well I too did that unemployment thing after you told me about it...do you have to do that every week?

Status: How do you do "unemployed"?

Comment: what the hell? you cant like that! LOL

Comment: unemployed ain't so bad!!!! Get a hobby! LOL

Comment: Take severence & unemployment and look for ur dream job! Sorry to hear about this. Best of luck!

Comment: What the heck???? What happened?! And, you know I can tell you how to "do" unemployed! I'm an expert lately!

Comment: Wow - kind of glad I jumped when I did - hearing of lots of layoffs.

Status: Using up the last bit of my dental insurance..daughter had her wisdom teeth pulled today.

Comment: Hope she feels better, but now you will have to call Obama for some more insurance.

Comment: Yeah - I think it's time to cash in 'my' stimulas plan . . . LOL!!

Comment: yep..im in line for that one!

Comment: dont forget to use up all your flex spending acct if you have one. if you use it before its paid for....it falls back on the company. Im getting all my work done this month! Had my crown done last week!

Comment: are you sure about all that?

Comment: You might find out but I think your insurance carries on for 6 months from when you are laid off at least it did with me.

Comment: thats COBRA ...and its $1100 a month for family coverage. I can get us coverage thru BCBS for a 1/3 of that.

Comment: no not cobra when i was laid off my med insurance and stuff carried on for 6 months after lay off. Believe me I have no idea how anyone affords Cobra

Comment: I heard the same thing abt the flex spending from someone that used to work in payroll, use it quick and it will end up back on the company! I'll get more details on it for you tomorrow and let you know.

Martha Coakley, Meet Carly Fiorina

On the left, Martha Coakley, U.S. Senate candidate for Massachusetts.

On the right, Carly Fiorina, U.S. Senate candidate for California.

If you don't see the resemblance, you might want to watch Carly Fiorina's demon sheep ad, which in its startling ineptitude makes us wonder if Carly has hired Martha's media consultants:



It's hard to know where to start:

(1) Using the word "men" as a swear word.
(2) Comparing the people of California to sheep.
(3) Making up the new slur FCINO (fiscal conservative in name only).

Here are the sort of comments FCINO is getting on its Youtube Channel:

"OK, this is really Tom Campbell's creation to make Carly look like an idiot. Right? It CANNOT be for real."

"How about your girl's silence of John McCain supporting all those bailouts? Is HE a FCINO?"

"As a registered Republican, I'm happy to say that I just determined who I'll vote for, and it won't be Carly Fiorina!"

"Reward incompetence. Vote for Carly. "

"Were drugs involved in making this?"

"Nice job, Carly Failorina."

But it doesn't stop there, you can go to Carly's new web site www.fcino.com and submit your FCINO sighting report:

"If you have seen a FCINO in the wild, submit your detailed report below. By working together, we can protect taxpayers against future FCINO violations."

By the way, if you go to "Support the Cause" button on the Fiscal Conservatives in Name Only website, the money goes to Carly Fiorina's campaign. I'm confused. Does that mean Carly is the candidate for people who are fiscal conservatives in name only?

Am I the only one to notice:

(1) FC is Carly Fiorina's initials spelled backwards (she brought the demons into this).

(2) Fuchino Fiorina rhymes (never call your opponent a name that rhymes better with your name than his).

(3) FCINO could also be pronounced F'ckin' No (I personally might vote for a F'ckin' No candidate).

(4) Wait, wait. I've discovered that the gray haired man you can almost but never quite see at the end of this video is in fact, wait for it, Carly Fiorina herself. She's recovering from a tough dose of chemotherapy to battle breast cancer. But instead of building an inventive and inspiring story around a heroic personal struggle ... demon sheep.



Still, Carly hasn't called her opponent Tom Campbell a rape monger just yet, a slur Martha Coakley tried to put on Scott Brown. So, Carly, if you are going for the worst run campaign of 2010 award, you still have a ways to go.

Oscar Sees Its Shadow on Groundhog Day

And the Oscar goes to

Best Picture - Avatar
Best Director - Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Best Actor - Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Best Actress - Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Best Supporting Actor - Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
Best Supporting Actress - Mo'Nique, Precious
Best Original Screenplay - Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
Best Adapted Screenplay - Nick Hornby, An Education
Best Animated Feature Film - Up
Best Foreign Language Film - The White Ribbon, Germany

Oh, you were thinking that only nominees were announced today and that the actual awards ceremony is not until March 7 in 5 weeks. And that I shouldn't be making predictions without seeing all the nominated pictures. Then crawl back into your hole, groundhog.

White People Aren't Having Enough Sex

Time to throw out the contraceptives? The census keeps telling us that whites in America are well on the way to to becoming a minority.

Provocative, but there is another explanation. White people are having sex and kids with people who are nonwhite, as reported here a year ago.

I'm just not worried about America being taken over by ... Americans. Still, Karen Alloy has a point. More sex wouldn't be such a bad thing.